Have you ever let your emotions get the better of you? Have you ever felt like events, or circumstances, or other people were controlling of you—instead of you being in control of you? Have you ever acted in a way that you later regretted because you were caught off guard, or were tired, or angry, or hurt, or frustrated, or didn’t really know what to do, or just didn’t have the time you needed to think through how you should respond to something or someone before you actually did? Have you ever hated yourself afterward, or wondered how you could be so dumb?
Have you ever wondered why nobody ever wrote down a practical set of step-by-step, bulletproof guidelines for developing and maintaining a healthy relationship? Or have you ever wondered why, if there really is a God and He really is the Creator of the universe, why He didn’t bother to take the time to leave us a simple list of instructions for dealing with the biggest emotional challenges of our lives?
If you’ve ever asked yourself any of these questions, then this book is for you! That list of bulletproof instructions not only exists, God wrote them. Managing Your Inner A**hole is an unvarnished, unconventional look at the greatest practical advice the Bible has to offer without a hint of preaching, pretense, or posturing. Imminently logical without the guilt-trip, compassionate and humble without judgment or condemnation, this is a story of acceptance and empowerment about what it means to really love, what you have to do to really grow, and the surprisingly simple steps you can take right now to manage your own Inner A**hole and build a happier, healthier life and network of relationships than you ever dreamed possible.
Because we all have an Inner A**hole and we can’t do
anything about it if we won’t admit it exists. As I said in the book, “There
are two types of people in this world: those who admit that they can, at least
on occasion, be a complete jackass--and those who are liars!” I’m not trying to
be crude. I’m simply calling out the worst in myself for what it is. I’m
candidly acknowledging the obvious, and I’m doing my best to deal with it.
What is
your book about?
The book is about my inordinately long journey from
emotional idiocy to something resembling intelligence. I was a pretty messed up
young adult, but I got incredibly lucky at the lowest point of my life—God
showed up in my living room and ordered me to write down a ten point
prediction. I originally thought I’d lost my mind, but each of the ten points
came true over the next two years in the exact sequence, on the exact dates,
and in the exact manner that He had predicted. That was pretty hard evidence
for me to argue with. Once I accepted the fact that God was real, I figured I’d
better listen to him. That listening gradually changed my life.
What
inspired you to write this story?
Three reasons really. First, it was a love letter,
an ethical will of sorts, to my kids. I wanted them to have a written record of
this story and things we’d talked about. Second, it was an exercise in me holding
myself accountable to the principles that I profess to embrace. I figured that you
never learn something like you do when you try to teach it. I looked at writing
this all down as a way for me to ‘own’ what I really believe. Third, the more I
studied Christianity, the more I came to believe that the original teachings of
Christ have been horribly miss-represented by a lot of con-artists secretly
pushing their own agendas. I’ve come to know Christianity as a spectacularly
beautiful, self-effacing, non-judgmental, deeply compassionate faith that’s
actually focused on the internal transformation of the individual follower--NOT
on the promulgation of ‘rules’ that one pious clown gets to use to judge,
condemn, or lord it over their minions. I’m not Catholic, but I think Pope
Francis is doing an incredible job at refocusing people on the real message of
the church. When doing this book I thought it might be fun to bring a
non-traditional, slightly usual perspective to some very fundamental biblical
principles. And so far, people seem to like it.
Share
with us your biggest hurdles in the writing process.
Being transparent and telling a story that I had
kept secret for 30 years. I got challenged a lot by those close
to me during the writing and review process. They really pushed me to come
clean, but I had a hard time doing that. In the end I think it made for a much
stronger work, but it wasn’t easy.
Where can
readers find you and your book on line?
www.managingyourinnerahole.com
or
Book on Amazon
Ben Prescott is the public persona of an anonymous, 57-year-old, white male who has spent his entire life contending with serious mental illness and addictions within his birth family. The problems caused by these mental illnesses and addictions have included medical issues and extended hospitalizations, civil litigation, arrests and criminal prosecution, terminations of employment, financial hardships, life-threatening physical violence, and social ostracization. Compounding these issues was the culture of Ben's puritanical, ultra-conservative, and social climbing extended family that denied any suggestion that either a mental illness or addiction existed, and rigidly enforced a code of silence so as not to tarnish their public image.
When a series of catastrophic events unfolded in 1974 that were so severe that they could no longer be silenced or ignored and which publicly revealed the full magnitude of the problem, Ben, in a mixture or despair, rebellion, and an attempt to anesthetize himself from the pain, buried himself in school and work, and went on an eight-year drug and alcohol fueled bender that nearly ruined him. After hitting rock bottom, and after experiencing a life-changing, not-of-this-world encounter that he can only attribute to Devine intervention, Ben began the process of rebuilding his life and pursuing the path towards emotional intelligence that has become the basis of this book. Over the next thirty years, Ben remarried and raised a family; became a successful entrepreneur; buried half his family; stood by others as they battled cancer; suffered his own life-changing injury; became a multimillionaire--and then lost most of that fortune after 9/11. Along the way he discovered what life is about and realized what he's supposed to do with the life he has been given.
Today, he is a "C" level executive, management consultant, and author with extensive expertise in the healthcare and technology industries. Ben has been a member of the executive teams of three very successful technology companies taking each from the earliest stages, through multiple financing rounds and rapid growth, to exits through either an initial public offering or acquisition by a larger publicly traded company. In 2000 a company that Ben co-founded and served as President and Chief Operating Officer was honored by the Smithsonian Institution as being one of the ten most innovative technologies on the planet out of field of nearly 4,000 global nominees. He has been a trusted advisor to the senior executives of companies such as Hewlett-Packard, W.R. Grace, Morgan Stanley, Blackstone, MetLife, United Healthcare, Ernst & Young, Microsoft, and many other Fortune 500 clients. He currently coaches and advises entrepreneurs and CEOs of early to late stage technology companies and serves as the Managing Director of the knowledge management, advanced analytics, and big data practice for a technology accelerator and venture fund based in California.
Driven by his life experience and a burning need to ensure that others do not have to silently suffer with the twin issues of mental illness and addiction with which he has so long contended, Ben has made these issues a focus of his personal and professional existence. He has authored several articles and book chapters on the application of technology for managing the delivery of clinical services and the administration of public health and patient navigation initiatives. He has edited three books on patient and family journeys through addiction and mental illness. He has been a featured speaker and presenter at several national and international healthcare and technology conferences. He has spent decades working with various Children's Hospitals and National Alliance on Mental Illness chapters across the United States on outpatient and community outreach programs designed to mentor and serve the physical and emotional needs of patients and families dealing with abuse, addiction and mental illness. In other volunteer efforts he has worked with Big Brothers and Big Sisters, the Boy Scouts of America, and several school districts on mentoring programs to educate and equip at-risk children and adolescents.
He is a former Big Four CPA and Consultant. He pursued his doctorate in Organization Behavior and earned his MBA from programs that were rated in the top five in the nation. He holds bachelor degrees in Economics and Psychology from the University of California. Ben has been married for over 27 years to an educator and parent coach who has dedicated her professional and personal life to the nurture and development of children. Together they are the proud parents of two grown children, a son and a daughter, who carried on the family tradition of swimming, water polo, and lifeguarding. Their son is an Eagle Scout. Their daughter was in the Assistance League and volunteered her time to help homeless families and children of abuse. Both kids are recent college graduates who now work in the software and healthcare industries. Ben maintains his sanity by surfing and hiking the coastal hills and valleys of his native California.
Dellani Oakes is a former A.P. English teacher and photo journalist. Now working as a substitute teacher and Mary Kay consultant, she can give skin care & makeup advice, correct grammar, take pictures and write an article while controlling a classroom full of rowdy children.
Dellani Oakes is a former A.P. English teacher and photo journalist. Now working as a substitute teacher and Mary Kay consultant, she can give skin care & makeup advice, correct grammar, take pictures and write an article while controlling a classroom full of rowdy children.
